Remember, most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who
fled to your protection,
implored your help
and sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you,
O Virgin of virgins, my mother.
To you I come; before you I stand.
Sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions but in
your mercy,
hear and answer me. Amen.
St. Bernard of Clairvaux
Amen 🙏
Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers, Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers!
Sharing a short story on Mother’s day…
2 years ago today on Mother’s day, I made this last appeal for help to get my Mom her much needed platelets that were already dropping to critical levels, to keep her alive for at least some more days to allow a certain newly developed medicine a chance to reverse, or at the very least, control her advancing MDS illness. (Myelodysplastic Syndrome – a bone marrow disease) from worsening and turning into Acute Myeloid Leukemia. The blood banks were all dry on platelets then and my Mama, having blood type AB+, made it more difficult to find some.
I remember praying so hard that mother’s day for a donor. A few kind souls responded and offered to donate but failed the screening. It could have been the best mother’s day offering that I (and the donor) could gift her in my entire lifetime if she got it. But it was not to be.
I remember the ugly feeling that frustration and despair brought after exhausting all efforts and coming up empty at the end of the day, all that I can do was look at her, lying on her hospital bed, frail, tired, possibly in pain, and holding her soft fragile hands in a reassuring way was all there was. The reality decked my heart to the floor. There was nothing else I can do! Watching over my mother as she lay asleep, flashes of good memories flooded the mind. Memories on the sacrifices made and how selflessly she dedicated her whole life for the well being of the family. Aware that as the minutes tick by, her life ebbs synchronously with the minute hand of the clock.. and there was nothing I can do!!! It broke my soul and tore my whole being to the core.
But by the next day, in the early hours of the morning of 12th of May, an unexpected donor suddenly came. Dying ambers of light were rekindled. Soon after passing strict blood screenings, the donor was readied and prepped immediately for platelets apheresis (blood donating procedure where only platelets are taken from the live donor but takes almost half a day to do). Nevertheless, at least for that moment, the chimera that loomed during the night was doused. Mama might still get her Mother’s day gift after all.. and a chance at life, even for a day, 2 days, a week perhaps.. it didn’t matter. What mattered was an opportunity arose to buy more time, just enough to allow the new medicine, this last resort, a chance to kick in and do it’s job on Mama’s rapidly failing bone marrow. My Mom finally got the platelets early that evening.
As I thankfully watched the ever so slow drips of fresh life-sustaining platelets finding it’s way into my mom’s vein, a sense of relief went thru my own. Although she was already having high fevers and started to show signs of bruising on her fair skin, I held on to be positive. Her vital signs were somehow still stable, except for the fevers. But that was good enough for me then. It would be a long night. A long wait. Waiting for signs of improvements as nurses were constantly checking for changes and doctors constantly ordering for the latest blood works. I was there for the long haul, bedside with the only woman on earth I could ever love in so many a different ways.
Fast forward…May 13th.
Dawn came welcoming a new day. As with every new day, brings with it new hopes, new beginnings on life and living. My mom’s hospital room started to come to life with teams of doctors making the usual early morning rounds. A sense of tranquility effaced every time a Doctor goes out the door without leaving some bad news. And so that went for the most part. My Mom’s vital signs remained stable. Again, except for that nasty lingering on and off high fever. Little did I know it was already a sign.
Soon after the last team of doctors and specialists left, barely 5 minutes had gone when my mother’s vital signs started changing. Oxygenation started dipping, blood pressures were dropping, heart rate was slowing. I asked for the nurses to immediately recall the doctors back in. Fortunately, they were still on the floors.
From a brief tranquil moment earlier, everything started to feel like a bad dream all within a heart beat. Doctors were alarmed. Orders for rescue meds were made. Oxygenation was set to maximum. ECG and other hearts monitors were hooked up. All in a matter of seconds, minutes, things were changing. From stability to uncertainty.
As the doctors were trying to do the best they can to stabilize Mama, she was not responding. Her vitals continued on to decline. Slowly but surely, my Mom was on her way. A one way ticket…Homeward bound.
The thought and reality of a previously agreed family decision brought into being by the advice of most doctors to go DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) when time comes should she go flat line suddenly glared and stared me in the face for the first time. I was the only family member with her that morning and unfortunately, the one to be tasked to verbally give that painful heart wrenching final order to stop all medical interventions and allow God’s Will to take over.
I wrapped my arms and held her ever so tightly for the last time while whispering words of love and thanks for all that she had been. I apologized for all the times I have caused her unintentional hurts. And finally, I reassured her that everything will be alright. That there was no more need for her to constantly watch over us, her family. We will be alright. And it is now time for her win over her life’s battle. Everyone in the room were rooting for her, one last time. I tried so hard to fight the tears as I continued whispering loving last minute messages and goodbyes. She was non responsive and her eyes were closed all that time but I know deep in my heart that she heard me. Every word. A single tear from an eye ran down her delicate rosy cheek. Then she breathe her last. She peacefully died in my arms.
I asked the doctors what happened. She did get her platelets. They said she might have gotten them too late. She must have been hemorrhaging internally already at the time she was getting the platelet infusion. The high fevers were tell tale signs.
I turned the question this time towards God. Why??? Why send someone that could have made things different a day late? Why give us hope only to lose it as fast as it came?
Then God dawned on me His Perfectness. His timing is always right. His Love, forever constant.
If the donor came on time, she would probably have survived a day, maybe 2. But she would miss her train. Her homeward bound ticket had a date.
My mother was scheduled to be set free by God on a special day. It was May 13th of 2017, the 100th year anniversary of our Lady’s Apparitions at Fatima, Portugal.
My mother, being a Marian devotee loved to pray the Rosary. She was rewarded the promises of the Rosary at the time of death. It fell on a special Marian feast day.
Oh! What a perfect time to be rejoined with her Creator!
Although beset with much sadness and grief on the abrupt passing of my dearest mother, this knowledge made for strength and joy. How can we not rejoice when a divine sign was revealed? How can we not be certain that at the other end of the station awaits Jesus, Mama Mary and perhaps a legion of Angels to welcome her?
And so, two years had gone since my last moments together with my ever dearest mother. But I have the hope in God’s promises that never failed to balm the aches and yearnings while I am in earnest wait and longingness for the time when we shall be together again. Until then…
Happy Mother’s day in Heaven Mama. I love and miss you so much!!! ❤️
Happy Mother’s Day Mama Mary
REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
Amen.
Happy mother’s day’s to our mother Mary I love you so much